you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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