he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
