We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
