no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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