Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
