you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
