Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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