She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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