dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize