There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
