Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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