I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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