weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
