My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
