i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
