need another drink. this is the easiest way
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
