There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you win again, gameday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
