There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
