I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
