I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
if only i could text you this smell
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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