i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my poor anus
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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