yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
