Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wear drunk well.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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