Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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