I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
