Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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