I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
