was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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