some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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