she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
