nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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