dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
