This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
