me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
