By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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