Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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