Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
