oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
