It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
