I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
