Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
