Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
