onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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