no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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