Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
