i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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