That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
