He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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