I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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