even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
