It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
