dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
