it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
