Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
