if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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