Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
